apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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