question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
