he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
