The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
