I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize