Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
