When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
