Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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