There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
