The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
