oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
