New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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