i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
