if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We left the knife in your bed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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