i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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