apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
