I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
