ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
