Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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