Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Blood and glitter go together right?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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