Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just tell him i said nine months
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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