You really coming over, don't trick.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
