..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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