If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
