Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
