Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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