he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
