looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
