K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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