Don't make out with my wife yet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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