After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
