Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
