Is it normal to miss your booty call?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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