Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
