I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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