is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize