so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
