I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
