hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
