I hope mine doesn't look like that
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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