I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
