He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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