this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
