It's like God shit irony all over that family
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
