I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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