Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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