Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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