so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
