You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
