Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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