i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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