We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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