her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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