I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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