why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
