im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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