drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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