dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
