What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
