hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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